Setting up a phone for a parent who has never used one

Set it up before you hand it over

Create the account, run the updates and put your own number in as the first contact before the phone is anywhere near them. The first hour they spend with it should be making a call, not watching a progress bar.

Decide the passcode question honestly. A code they cannot remember is a phone they cannot use; no code is a phone anybody can use. For many parents the answer is a simple code written on a card in their wallet, and that is a reasonable trade.

The settings that matter

• Text size and display zoom as large as the screen allows, and bold text on
• Ringer and call volume up, and hearing-aid compatibility on if it applies
• Touch settings that tolerate a slow or shaky tap, where the phone offers them
• A do-not-disturb schedule overnight, so nothing lights up at three in the morning
• Automatic updates on, so nobody has to ask them to install anything

Fewer things on the screen

One home screen. The phone, messages, the camera and one way of video-calling family, and nothing else visible. Add each person to favourites with a photograph of their face, so calling somebody is tapping a face rather than reading a name.

The handover is the product

Sit beside them and have them call you while you are in the room. Write the three steps for the two things they will do most on a card and leave it with the phone. Expect to go through it again the following week, and the one after; that is normal, not a sign it has failed. Do not say it is easy — for them, today, it is not, and hearing that it should be is what puts a phone in a drawer.

A phone is not a safety system

A phone in a coat pocket in the hall does nothing for a fall in the bathroom. If falling is the worry, the tool for it is a personal alarm that is worn and can be pressed; the phone can carry it, but it does not replace it.