Helping a parent keep track of doctor appointments

Put every appointment in one place

Most older adults are seeing several people — a family doctor, a specialist or two, a dentist, an optician — each with a different booking system and a different way of reminding. Scattered across letters and phone calls, no one person ever sees the month as a whole.

• One calendar, in whatever form your parent will actually look at, including paper on the fridge
• A shared digital copy for family, if they are comfortable with that, so nobody double-books the driving
• Each entry with the doctor's name, the address, the reason, and the phone number for changing it
• The transport arrangement written on the entry, because that is the part that fails

Solve transport before anything else

When somebody has stopped driving, or should have, transport is the thing that quietly cancels appointments. It is worth sorting once rather than improvising each time.

• Ask the surgery or clinic whether patient transport exists — it often does and is rarely offered unprompted
• Ask the local agency for older adults about volunteer driver schemes, which are common and cheap
• Book appointments at the times a lift is actually available rather than the first slot offered
• Keep one taxi firm's number by the phone, with the account already set up

Make the appointment itself worth the trip

A great deal of what is said in a consulting room does not survive the walk to the car park. Older patients frequently under-report symptoms, either from not wanting to complain or from assuming it is simply age.

• Write the three questions down beforehand, and hand the paper over if the conversation gets away
• Bring the current list of medicines, including anything bought without a prescription
• Ask for the plan to be written down, or write it down yourself and read it back
• Ask directly what would count as things getting worse, and who to ring when that happens
• If you attend, let your parent answer first. Answering for somebody is how they stop being asked.

If you cannot be there, ask whether you can join by phone. Many practices will allow it with your parent's consent, and it is far better than a summary relayed afterwards.

Booking and rescheduling when you are not there

This is where families get stuck, because most systems assume the patient is doing it. Two things make it workable, and both need arranging in advance.

The first is written permission on file for the practice to speak to you. Without it they will decline, correctly, and a phone call will not fix it in the moment. The second is agreeing with your parent what you may do without asking — rescheduling is usually fine; anything clinical usually is not. Rescheduling is also the most common thing needed at short notice, and the part a parent is most likely to avoid because it means ringing and explaining.